Life is complicated. The world swirls around us in what can feel like ever-increasing chaos. There are pressures put on us by others: work, spouse, children, society, church. And there are pressures we put on ourselves: professional aspirations, finance goals, character development, comparison with others.
Life is also hard. It takes effort, investment, perspiration. If we allow life to “just happen” to us, we get tossed by a current that is unrelenting and unforgiving. “Along for the ride” is a hazardous approach to life, for the highs and lows will feel like an extreme roller coaster, and the scars will be worse than taking a boogie board through white water rapids.
Thankfully, life is not meant to be a solo endeavor. We are designed for community. This is much more than the presence of others, though. It includes the participation of others. Asking others to help us evaluate the complications and hardships of life is even a default setting for us; we often seek the input of others. And when we are disciples of Jesus, we should prioritize fellow believers as a source for godly input.
The Usual Suspects
When life comes at us hard and fast, we need help as quick as we can get it. Our first goal is to grab a hand, a shoulder, an ear, and shine a spotlight on what is going on and search for a path around or through it.
The first people to give us advice are those in Proximity, those who are in our general area when we need someone. The first contact in our chat messenger. A coworker sitting at our side. These folks often see or hear our physical, unfiltered, gut reaction to the impact of life’s troubles.
The other group we turn to quickly is based on Familiarity, the people we are most comfortable with and feel most “known” by. This could be your BFF, family members, or significant other / spouse.
An interesting note here is that neither of these categories of people feel “out of bounds” giving advice. Just as we cannot help but ask them, they cannot help but answer. In fact, if you stop and think about it, most folks in these groups want to give you advice. Social media platforms are built to fulfill society’s compulsion to comment upon what others have shared.
Maybe a coworker is impacted by the same change in office policy. A parent or older sibling wants to relate their own experience and sincerely desire to improve your situation. The barista at the coffee shop was shocked at your reaction to a text and wants to help you feel better about whatever just happened. These are examples of common “first responders” to our need for advice.
Unless you are blessed to be surrounded by Believers all the time, the advice given by unbelievers, regardless of their good intentions, will be tainted.
They may be sympathetic, but are they spiritually minded? Are they interested in the redemption of your situation or in restitution? Do they encourage you to be a victim or remind you to be a servant?
Listening for God’s “Voice”
When we confess faith in Jesus and our desire to have God’s blessing on our lives, it is vital to seek a Christian perspective. We need to examine our situation and course options with an understanding of God, His Word, and His goals for us.
If I want help making French cuisine it is not usually helpful to ask a Midwest backyard grill master. The opinions and ideas may connect on a rare occasion, but I need to get help from someone trained in the French style.
Why would I think I could hear God’s leading and fulfill His goals in my life by seeking advice from someone who does not know Him, or worse, someone who refuses God’s influence on their own life?
Have you ever prayed and asked God to speak to you in your time of need? You do not want a “feeling” or a subtle leading of the Holy Spirit. You want to hear the audible voice of God.
We may consider God’s silence as a sign that He does not care or is not involved. Yet God has given us real voices to help us discern His revelation and leading, in addition to the Scriptures and the leading of the Spirit.
When we read Paul’s teaching about the Gifts of the Spirit, we see various English translations purposely focus on a desire to ensure Believers have an understanding that is clear about these gifts. They are crucial to life in the Body of Christ, and therefore must not be forgotten or misunderstood. Yet we often skip past the first two gifts he shared:
A manifestation of the Spirit is given to each person for the common good: to one is given a message of wisdom through the Spirit, to another, a message of knowledge by the same Spirit. (1 Corinthians 12:7-8 CSB, bold added)
The gifts of Wisdom and Knowledge are verbal gifts (“manifestations”) of the Holy Spirit, which fundamentally makes them God’s audible voice to the Believer in that moment. If they are not spoken, they are useless. If they are not sought for, we are missing out.
A Hard Step to Take
Opening our lives and situations to the voice of other Believers is a difficult step. We would rather ask anyone else, from our neighbors to the internet to horoscopes and psychics. “Surely I can get advice from someone other than church people.”
It is important for believers to accept that such as disconnect is often the result of church hurt. Church hurt is real; I can identify with that. But when we allow our past hurts to keep us from God’s gifts we start hurting ourselves and diminishing God’s work in our lives.
Still, our fears are real. Here are a few of the lies that keep us from the Gift of our Christian brothers and sisters:
Shame says: “I cannot tell them how I got here.” The road to our current destination is often paved by the choices we make along the way. Maybe we are no longer confident in the old decisions. Perhaps sin was involved. We don’t want to reveal our secrets even when we desperately need the community God created us for and adopted us into.
Fear comes in various forms, such as a Fear of Judgment, which says: “They are just going to judge me.” We are afraid of condemnation, of being shunned or cast out of community. Paul encouraged us to judge between ourselves as we will one day judge the world and angels (1 Corinthians 6:1-3).
In our times of difficulty a “judgment” is exactly what is needed. Not a judgment of condemnation of the godly response versus any other. Put all of the facts on the table. Add in all truths about the journey and the situation. Cut out any lies or preconceptions which deceive us. Allow the Holy Spirit to take the seat and declare judgment as to where the next step lies.
There is a Fear of the Unknown telling us: “Are you sure you can trust this guy/gal? Is it really going to work out if you do it this way?” We understand the concept of faith when it comes to trusting in God for what is hoped for but not seen (Hebrews 11:1), but we rarely consider this same faith is extended to God’s family, our Christian brothers and sisters.
But it is true to keep in mind that not all voices claiming to hear from God on our behalf are genuine. Some want to be respected and be known for giving advice. Others want to benefit from telling us what we want to hear. And there are the few who believe they are genuine but make stuff up; or worse, are listening to the influence of demonic voices.
Reaching for the Right Help
How do Christ followers get back to God’s plan of allowing flesh and blood Ambassadors of Heaven to speak into our lives?
First, we must renew our dedication to living a godly life, which means allowing our Lord Jesus Christ to be the only One leading us forward. If we truly believe in Christ as our Savior and seek to please the Father, His influence should be both primary and supreme. Does that mean others cannot share their thoughts? Not at all. It does mean that God trumps them all, whether His word is written (Scripture) or spoken (spiritual gifts or prayer).
Humility must also be involved, for if we truly want God to work through others, we must believe that our own voices and ideas may not serve us well. This is easier to accept the deeper we dig ourselves into trouble, but also the more we learn to listen to the voices of wisdom and knowledge around us.
It is okay to take the time to get used to these voices, and even testing them. It may be obvious when they speak godly wisdom, and it may take some of that faith extended to our spiritual family. Are they hearing from God or are they intelligent with earthly wisdom? Test the voices. Get second and third opinions. Build up a proven group of counsellors (Proverbs 15:22). If they are not actually godly, do not go back to them. If they are godly, do not fear them.
Finally, do not rush to action, but meditate on what was said. When the struggle is real, as it often is, rushing can lead to trouble. Consider the teachings of Scripture. Pray about it. Give opportunity for confirmation in your spirit.
Sometimes taking action is easy when the way is plainly God’s way. Other times you will have to force yourself forward when what is right is inescapable, but you do not want to do it.
Give yourself grace to grow in hearing God’s leading through the voice of your fellow believers. They are God’s gift to you. Do not close the door God prepared to help you through what you are facing.
Chris MacKinnon 
Thanks Chris. Lots of great insight.